For Our Parents

Children may become aggressive because of a variety of reasons. As a parent, you need to observe the behaviour pattern of your child and note the times when the child displays aggression. Is it when he/she is refused something? Is it stemming from sibling rivalry? Is it because when the child behaves in this particular fashion, you tend to give in to his/her demands? Aggression maybe stemming from something that the child is observing in the environment (elders, TV, school, friends) Children have to be taught to moderate their expressions. When a child is throwing a tantrum, it is better to use a soft but firm voice but not an angry loud voice. Let your behaviour be consistent. If you are eventually going to do what the child demands, then the message you are sending to the child is that this behaviour gets him/her whatever she wants. So once you have refused something, it is important to stand by that decision and not change it. It is preferable to not talk to the child than hitting him/her. When the child has calmed down, talk to him/her and explain that this behaviour is not healthy. Reassure the child that he or she is essentially good, and it is this habit which is not.

A child needs to be reminded to do the same things regularly. The key is to not lose your patience. Also understand that laziness is a subjective term. People have different ideas as to what is or what is not laziness. So where you may tell your child to do chores every day, it is nice for the child if you can set one day aside where he/she is free to do what they want.

To increase your child’s confidence, it is best to increase your confidence in the child. Let the child know that you believe in him/her. Instead of comparing the child to other children, simply show confidence that your child can do better and motivate them to better their own scores. Sometimes, a child is just shy and to accept your child the way he/she is going a long way in building the self-esteem.

When a child wants to stay away from school, you need to find out the reason for it. Talk to him/her. Talk to the teachers and also seek their help. If there are no serious problems, then be gentle and convince them to attend school. You have to be patient with the child as most probably he/she is more sensitive than other kids. Sometimes, when children are young, they do not like to attend school. Though not a desirable situation, it’s commonly seen, and sometimes it’s okay to give into the child’s demand.

Today’s children are more exposed to different things and cultures. The children of today are able to voice their disagreements and dislikes. Every generation is different, and comparing your children to how you were as children won’t work. What is important to remember that as kids you may have not agreed with your parents but you were forced to keep your silence, which may have also affected your personality in some way (positive and negative). Each generation comes with their own set of problems. The flip side of children growing up in a more open surrounding is that they will question the parent’s decisions. Today’s children have more exposure so they can compare and give their opinion.

Eating healthy is a learnt behaviour. If you want to interest your children in eating healthy food, then you have to come up with innovative ways of making food taste the way the child likes it.

To keep the child interested in studies it is important to emphasize the importance of knowledge over marks. Help them to learn in innovative ways, and cultivate curiosity in them and ask questions. Completely avoid television before studies. Let children play every day and encourage them to take up a hobby like sport, art, music, or singing. Not in a competitive manner, but to just enjoy themselves.

If your child is getting bullied at school, then it is better to involve the teachers and school. If need be, then your child’s class can be changed. At the same time, if it is not very serious, then, the child needs to learn to stand up for him/herself. Instead of telling the child what to do, discuss with them what they would like you to do. Ask them to come up with a solution. You can also talk to the parent of the child who is bullying your child.

Shyness does not affect a child’s creativity. Confidence does. Many of the greatest poets and artists were introverts. You do not have to change your child. Rather, it is more important that you accept your child the way he/she is. This increases their faith and belief in themselves, which in turn increases their confidence. Shy children are more sensitive emotionally and as such need to be dealt with gently and positive encouragement about themselves and their capabilities. Praise them and appreciate their efforts rather than their result.

A child may feel inferior if he/she is made to feel that they are compared to others and how others are better than them. Change your way of communicating with the child to make it more positive. Sometimes as parents we tend to get so caught up in correcting and teaching the child the right way to be that we forget to appreciate the child for what he or she is.

The children probably get depressed because they think that there is something wrong with them. Show confidence in your child. Help your child learn in innovative manners. You can search on the internet for how to help children with dyslexia. Let the child know that everything with them is okay and that it’s just that their brains process information differently. And it doesn’t make them lesser than anyone else. Encourage your child to learn music singing or art craft and sports. They, too, need to feel that they are good at activities. Be patient and gentle with your child. With time, it gets better. The most important thing to remember is that you have to truly believe that there is nothing wrong with your child. This faith in your child will help him/her the most. If you can find a special needs tutor then it’s a great option.